


sucker

by OkaSakura



Series: i am a [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ;3c, Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Akaashi Keiji, But It's Not In Here, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, M/M, Minor Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Omega Tsukishima Kei, Open to Interpretation, Or Is he?, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei-centric, Unrequited Love, everyone's in college folks, hinted KuroTsuki, mentions of mpreg, that's a perfect tag lmao, tsukishima is confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 16:22:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19088689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkaSakura/pseuds/OkaSakura
Summary: It's not like he wasn't completely bored of life but there definitely wasn't that same spark he got from volleyball. Still, he can't deny that even for 5 minutes, sex took away the boredom from his otherwise plain lifestyle. An insight into the life of a bespectacled omega with a chip on his shoulder.





	sucker

**Author's Note:**

> edit: a new chapter is in the works!
> 
> literally first time posting smut here and ho boy, it was wild writing this thing. this is also my first time writing for a pairing (sort of). like, dude, you're an imagine writer, what are you doing?? It's to try and get in Tsukki's head for this rp I'm doing tbh but! I had fun writing this (altho i'm p bad at smut i'm so sorry)
> 
> also, I refer to everyone with how Tsukki refers to them. Bokuto is refered by his last name? that's how I refer to him to. Akaashi gets a new name? Yup, it's Keiji for the rest of the narrative. Again, just trying to get inside Tsukki's head.
> 
> also, i can't remember how Akaashi and Tsukki refer to each other so....I made it up! :D
> 
> also i was listening to sucker by the j bros and i'm like, that's my title right there folks.

He remembered his first heat. Barely sixteen and pale, it was like living in hell. His mum sent word to the school that he wouldn’t be coming and coaxed him back in bed when he insisted. Weak and unsteady, he didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Turns out, being in heat and in bed was just too much and he fainted pretty quickly. His body almost broke down from the tension in his body, bones cracking as he struggled to stay conscious. He would’ve torn himself apart if his mother wasn’t there with water and a pill so he’ll always be thankful for his mum helping him out and getting him through it all. However he did feel a disconnect; she was a beta so she would never be able to understand exactly how it felt.

She was a nurse though, so she’s seen this many times. Sometimes he just had to remind himself that to stop him from becoming numb all over.

It was sad that he couldn’t see his brother for a week, even if they weren’t as close as before. As an alpha, Akiteru was in a different world to his own, one that Kei wished he could be in instead.

Alas, biology had different plans for him.

The week of torture was almost over and his body was cooling off. Yamaguchi decided it would make a good idea to see him, which, it really really wasn’t. Despite being just a beta and thus unaffected by the heat (unless it was strong), Kei couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

It was just Yamaguchi, he thought at the time, so why would he ever want him?

Well, his older self would say, there’s harm in lusting for the unwanted.

Yamaguchi didn’t seem to rebuff him.

(His mum separated them before anything could happen, fortunately, but he did notice the longing stares from Yamaguchi afterwards.)

* * *

He remembers the first time he spent his heat with an alpha, but only barely.

Slick trailing along his thighs as he whimpered against the sheets, body writhing and moans dancing out of his mouth. His-no, the alpha looked up at him with battered eyes and a smirk, a very familiar smirk. Fingers slid down his chest, pulling and prodding at his nipples but never giving them too much attention.

The teasing was almost too much for him, whimpers and gasps pulled out like a musician playing their instrument, skillful yet gentle which was not what he wanted. He wanted it to hurt, to make him feel what he felt he deserved. Omegas were supposed to be fucked and used right? Just a thing for alphas to play with.

But no, that never happened. The next part was all a blur, but never once did he felt used or like a playtoy. It was like a lover’s caress; slow thrusts carried out with gentle hands touching him and kissing him and-

That was the first time he was scared. The alpha’s teeth almost touched his neck, scrapping but never reaching.

He didn’t want to be bonded, not like this, not with him.

He whined, moving and wiggling his neck away, desperately trying to get out of the hold to no avail. The teeth digging in almost close to his nape. No, no, he didn’t want this, stop stop!

The alpha must have felt his resistance because he moved away, a solemn almost regretful look in his eyes. His hand touched the nape, gently smoothing the skin. He leaned down, planting his lips softly, before moving away. It was almost apologetic, touching in a way.

It didn’t stay like that because as soon as Kei was turned over, resting on his hands and knees. Then, he was entered again and it was as rough and painful as he expected. It must have his heat making him oversensitive, but he ached. Being filled like this wasn’t enough and he whined again, sliding his hips back and forth in time with the thrusts. Maybe it was fruitless, but he did still want to enjoy himself in this lust filled haze of emotions.

Hearing the other groan made him feel like he accomplished something. He hated it, but his body didn’t listen, instead becoming tighter and slicker for the alpha. He was almost out of it, his cock drooling all over his chest and close to cumming. Did he cum already? He couldn’t remember. Everything was all just a haze, a cloud of emotions.

His partner’s cock grew, a knot forming. This scared him also. He’s never done this with an alpha; would it hurt? Could he get….No, he took the pill. There wasn’t any way….was there?

It was too late to think anymore; the knot was in. It hurt, so so badly. It enlarged inside of him, pouring out in quantity. Tears swirled in the corners of his eyes and he wanted to sob so badly, but held himself against it. Behind him, the alpha grunted, leaning down and wrapping himself around him. Being held like this was….fine. There wasn’t anything with it at the time but now….

It was too much, too intense. He sobbed, his fists clenching against the bedding. Feeling faint, all he could before he passed out was:

“I’m sorry Tsukki…..”

 

“....-san…”

When he woke up, the other male was gone, only leaving a note and a collar. Just to be certain, he checked his neck in the mirror. No mark. Well, at least he now has a collar but….

He felt empty again.

* * *

 

Long after graduating high school and getting accepting into a college in Tokyo, he started....taking offers from other betas. Ones that wanted to sleep with him. It was fine for awhile, but….it was often unsatisfying.

It was okay getting fucked into the mattress at first, but only doing that was unfulfilling. He wanted more.

Still sex wasn’t everything so when Bokuto invited him over for a night of fun, who was he not to accept?

In hindsight, it may have spared him a lot of awkwardness not to.

It didn’t take him too long to reach the meeting place, although Bokuto didn’t exactly give him clear instructions. He had to ring up Akaashi to find out the correct address, which annoyed him to no end. Not because of Akaashi, but because the owl idiot couldn’t even give him the right information!

Still, he went on his way, not too hung up over the incident. The train ride was silent but peaceful, it almost made him fall asleep. Only the ringing of his phone woke him from his stupor.

“Ah, it’s Tsukishima.”

_“Tsukishima-san, are you close?”_

He looked at the next stop, nodding to himself when he realized it was his own.

“Mm-hm, next stop.”

_“I’ll pick you up when you arrive.”_

“Fine.”

And the call ended. He stumbled a bit trying to put his phone away as the train came to a halt, lucking out by not falling.

* * *

 

**“TSUUUKKKKIIIIII~!”** The yell heard around the world, only one man was capable of being this loud: Bokuto Kotarou. Seriously, didn’t this man know when to shut up? Akaashi must have seen the expression of annoyance on his face and sent a look of pity, “I’m afraid age hasn’t slowed Bokuto-san down. I apologize in advance for his...eccentricities.”

Kei rubbed his forehead, already preparing for the inevitable headache, “It’s fine, Akaashi-san. It won’t be any worse than what I’ve already had to put up with.” Well, it wasn’t an exact lie, he had and still has to put up with Hinata and Kageyama so dealing with another loudmouth should be a breeze…..right?

The beta smiled, resting a hand on the younger male’s shoulder, “You can just call me Keiji, Tsukishima-san. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

His heart skipped a beat and he had to look away, although a smile was forming, “Ma….I suppose it’s fine if you call me Kei as well….”

The smile he got back was beaming. 

* * *

 

Bokuto’s apartment was much bigger than it needed to be, with another floor contending the master and guest bedrooms. Down on the ground floor was the living room, kitchen and main bathroom, all a lot more spacious than one would think. He ushers them in, he and Akaashi and goes off to the kitchen to get drinks, yammering on and on about how excited he is on the way there.

It’s awkward, sort of, just sitting down with Akaashi-no, Keiji. Without the boisterous noise of Bokuto to keep them company, it’s just all silence. Doesn’t help that Keiji is watching him intensely with those dark eyes.

“You’re very pretty, Kei-kun.”

He blinked. That was random, but….not unnecessarily unwelcome. It made his heart beat faster, the sound rushing up to his ears and suddenly everything was too loud and too bright. He started to shiver; was the room too cold?

“Thank you….Keiji-san…”

He almost jumped when he felt a hand on his own. He looked at Keiji, with glossy eyes and stuttering lips. In return, he was given small smile and battered eyelashes. His heart jumped once again and he wondered if he could still contain himself. The other male opened his mouth but-

**“TSUUUKKKKKIIII~!! AKAASSSHIII~!!”**

His ears almost exploded due to the sudden noise. Damn that fool, he thought, looking back at the hair brained idiot. If he kept hanging around him, then he was going to lose his hearing for sure. Keiji seemed to be having similar thoughts because he turned and glared, face clear with annoyance, “Bokuto-san, please keep it down. Not everyone has the hearing levels of a saint.”

The owl pouted, shifting himself so he doesn’t spill the drinks, “But Akaashi~! There’s no one other than us now! Besides,” a grin slowly snuck it’s way onto his face, “We have all night to be as loud as we want!”

“Bokuto-san, you’re the only one who wants to be loud at the latest times of night.”

“Akaaaashiiiii-”

He couldn’t help it. This wasn’t even funny, but something inside of him broke and he started laughing hysterically. The two other boys looked at him strangely, like he was a madman, which he might have well been. Christ, this was all too much for him, even if he couldn’t understand what was happening. He looked at their astonished expressions, coughing out another chuckle, “You’re both...so moronic….”

Bokuto let out a horrible squawk, Keiji looked at him with intense eyes again. Neither made him feel anything, but boredom.

He was bored. Sigh.

* * *

 

Soon Bokuto was wore out and went upstairs, leaving himself and Keiji alone in the living room. It was all silent and soon awkwardness and nervousness filled the room. His fingers twisted along with his stomach, trying to ignore the stares from across the room. Just how long would the other stare at him so intently? How dark eyes would entrap his soul….

Was he afraid? Maybe.

His heart definitely skipped a beat when Keiji moved forward, trailing slowly across the red carpeting to reach him. A hand spooked him, thrusting forward into his eyesight, gently stroking his cheek. The glint in his eyes told Kei enough of what the boy wanted; the same as what they all wanted.

“Kei-kun….you want more, don’t you?”

It’s scary, even though it’s just with Keiji, who wouldn’t hurt him. That being said, there’s something frightening in the way he’s being looked at, something….tainted….  
He shivered, watching as slim fingers undid his pants, working their way through his belt. With a clink, it fell and, along with the rest of his trousers, piled on the floor. His long legs were bare and save for his briefs, his lower half was completely on display. Resisting a shiver, he let out a breathy sigh, waiting for the next actions of Keiji. He didn’t wait too long until he found hands spreading his legs open wide, a body moving into him.

It was euphoric, just watching. His briefs slid off without a hitch and his cock twitched, a hand coming to engulf it soon after. He looked down at Keiji with hazy eyes, never saying anything and neither did the other. It was pure silence.

The hand on him moved, giving slow leisurely strokes. Kei refused to moan, clenching his mouth shut and withering everytime the hand squeezed, his cock twitching even more. Keiji pulled his hand away, shuffling his face closer instead. The omega shivered as he felt a wet tongue touch him, giving soft kitten like licks.

Kei would still not crack, no sound would ever utter from him.

The wet muscle slid down him, rubbing against grooves and bumps. It swirled, taking long leisurely strokes back and forth, before he finally sunk down, taking the cockhead in his mouth, sucking it like a baby does candy. His fingers twitched, aching to latch onto something, but no. He wouldn’t, never.

He was so used to being used for pleasure that he’s forgotten his own.

His breathes were becoming increasing unsteady, a groan almost leaving him. Keiji looked up, his eyes almost grinning, much to his frustration. The other male slowly moved down, all the while maintaining eye contact with him. Continuing to move his mouth, he swallowed the cock down to the hilt, taking him in fully.

His legs shivered now, trembling against the sofa, nails tearing into the pillows. It was undeniable, it was almost too much, all this pleasure.

Two fingers skimmed against his balls, gently massaging them together. Trailing down, they laid against his ass, pressing softly in, spreading him wide open. He let out a soft whimper, eventually tangling his hands in the other’s hair. Soft, dark curls brushed against his palm and stretched out as he tugged them, accidentally tugging a little too hard.

If he felt it, then Keiji didn’t show it at all.

It was intense, something that he had never felt before. He was used to being abused and having partners who only sort their own pleasure and he was fine with it, but this….

It felt good. It felt euphoric.  
Keiji looked up at him with half hooded eyes, withdrawing his fingers and mouth. Kei would’ve moaned at the last, but didn’t, not wanting to give him anymore satisfaction.

A whimper was one thing, but a moan is something else entirely.

The boy licked his lips, swiping at the pre cum at the sides. Bringing his fingers to his lips, he sucked slowly, tongue poking out laggardly. To Kei’s horror, there was fluid, very familiar slick fluid. Specifically, it was his slick.

He didn’t realize it until he felt his thighs getting covered in slick; he had hit his heat.

The other male had noticed before he did it seems and….made him feel comfortable, maybe. He still wasn’t sure what to think. That said, he did know that he had to take surpressents right now, considering Bokuto was just upstairs and….well…..

Keiji seemed to understand, getting up to go over to the kitchen, bringing a glass of water and a pill from his backpack. Kei took it, swallowing the pill and the water. It wasn’t enough, he feared and his legs shiver, begging to close together. His eyes turned glossy and his hands were shaking. Keiji saw this, wiping away any tears and holding his hands in his own, bringing his face nose to nose with him

The words he said next left an impact;

_**“Kei-kun….let me take care of you, now and forever.”** _

* * *

 

He had to spend a few more days there, if only to get over his heat. When Bokuto learned about it, he fled over the yonder, claiming that he’ll be spending time with Kuroo and that they could stay in the house for as long as he needed and oh god please no cum on the kitchen counters-

He knew Keiji wanted an answer but…..he just didn’t want anyone in his life right now, especially in the way the other boy wanted; it wouldn’t be fair on either of them. He left without saying a word, going back to home to where he knew people would be waiting.

It was fine. This was his life. There was no need to delude himself into thinking otherwise.

Still, whenever a client went down on him, he could only see Keiji’s face in his mind.

* * *

 

It was after a fling that his phone went off, a barrage of messages coming his way. It wasn’t annoying or inconvenient, but he just wasn’t in the mood to answer, especially when he was so bored. The man threw money at him and he gobbled it up, counting the notes to make sure he wasn’t being scammed. They set an agreed upon price and while he could care less about money at this point, he hated being swindled. His phone kept beeping, to which the client promptly took notice.

“Ah, Tsukishima-kun, it seems like you’re popular today~ Well, don’t keep your boyfriend waiting~” Hmph, he thinks, this one’s getting too close to him, but he does look at his phone, opening it up just to get another text.

_**[tsukkkkkiiiiii]** _

_**[we haven’t seen each other in awhile!!]** _

_**[we should go out! Catch a movie or smth like that!]** _

_**[tsukki?]** _

_**[this probably seems like too much but ummmm]** _

_**[i like you. A lot.]** _

_**[i know i’m just a beta and you prolly want an alpha but]** _

_**[i can’t see myself with anyone but you!!]** _

_**[so can we meet?]** _

It almost ached him to read these, his brow creasing. He wasn’t surprised by this, but....he didn’t think Yamaguchi had the courage to express these feelings to him. Maybe he shouldn’t have underestimated him, given him a chance back in high school. Still, it doesn’t matter now.

He looks around the now empty room, smallish and isolated from the rest of the world. Normally he had nothing else to do but homework, but people have been lining up today. That was his 3rd client of the day. They didn’t expect much of him so he didn’t waste as much stamina as one would assume which lets him have more clients.

None have managed to satisfy him, but at least he wasn’t bored.

A knock was heard and he turned to the door, staring between it and the texts. While he could cancel out anymore sessions and go have a break, he couldn’t. He couldn’t see Yamaguchi again, well, not now.

_**[I’m sorry Yamaguchi, but my day is packed. Maybe next week?]** _

He was still his friend. It was okay. It’s okay to see him, just not now.

* * *

 

He breathed in the spring air, basking in the calming fresh light. Sometimes he would spend hours inside a tiny cramped room, never leaving until night. On these rare day offs, he went to the park and stayed in the shade of the cherry blossoms. Sometimes he wished, that it could be like this forever…..

“Tsukki? Is that you? Since when did you come to Tokyo?”

He turned, shock written all over his face. The one person he didn’t expect (or maybe want) was in front of him, his first and only alpha….

“.....-san….”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> lmao okay, I ended it on a cliffhanger because I'm pretty sure I want to do more with this. also i thought about this way too much so imma ramble for a bit :D
> 
> Tsukki seems like a sex addict and maybe yeah, that's possible. (in this fic) He enjoys it, but only when there's no strings attached. In a world with bonds and stuff, he generally thinks he's not ready for it. Maybe he's slightly aro as well and i might have written him like that a bit but I'm not an expert on that so you can choose how you see him. Sex is the only way that he feels alive, even if he doesn't feel satisfied. He does have a life out of it, but it also takes up his life as well. It's something that I don't think he can not have.
> 
> Akaashi is a bit of the opposite case: he wants love or maybe he's in love with the idea of love. He doesn't care for sex, at all, but he does want the bonds of a relationship with someone and he feels the closest to Tsukki (i mean, also bokuto but the fic revolved around Tsukki and I didn't want to overfill) so he saw something that could happen. Could it? Maybe, but again, this fic is just a character piece, meant to show you how Tsukki lives after high school. Also, Akaashi might not be a beta in this fic, that's just what Tsukki thinks. He could be an alpha teehee.....sequel plug anyone lolol
> 
> oh and poor yamaguchi lolol.
> 
> Why am I saying all this? Well, idk, i just ramble because I got really attached to this fic and it's something that I'm proud of. I want to make this a world, a place that I created. lmao if you read this thank you and please comment and kudos i guess? i'm not good at this at all.


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